Another day, another dime, another time struggling to reach a decent word count. I'm trying. I really am trying. But right now, it feels like every word I get out is forced past a mile of sleep deprivation and exhaustion and yawning and drifting off on the couch. I feel like I end up taking a series of cat naps more than getting actual sleep. That's probably not the best way to go, is it?
Work today went... all right, I guess. The person over LaTrease is apparently retiring on Thursday, and there is some discussion of getting her a retirement gift from the department. And I'm sitting over here like, "I've got a $200 surgery that I have to pay for in two weeks. I've got a person I borrowed money from a few years ago asking for it to be returned. I still have to pay rent. I just paid nearly $60 to get the hosting service cut back on before they started deleting sites. I just have had a doctor's appointment and got new prescriptions. I have less than $15 to my name. I cannot do that. I cannot help with that."
I keep trying to figure out if I'm going to bother going to the retirement party tomorrow. My first instinct is to say no, given that I barely knew the woman. I mean, in the nearly seven months I've been there, I've seen her twice... and one of those was my interview. Yet I do sort of feel like I need to participate, in a way. Play nice and all that. I don't know.
I do have to correct myself on some information. My pre-op doctor's appointment is on 28 November, not 29 November. I had everything else right -- including time and place and doctor -- but I had the wrong day. It's on a Tuesday, not a Wednesday.
Honestly, 13 December can't get here soon enough. I'm tired of cramping. I'm tired of feeling like shite all the time. I'm tired of wildly fluctuating moods. I'm tired of always being tired. I'm tired of worrying every time I feel like I'm going to pass gas, for fear it will be a clump or a gush of blood instead of air. (TMI, I know.) Since June, I've had more days on my period that I've had off it. It might not be visible on my blood work or anything, but it's taking its toll on me.
And yeah, I'm not going to have my minimum word count today either, but I'm not sure it bothers me all that much today, oddly enough. Maybe i"m just too tired to care. That would be pretty damn sad, huh? Either way, I'm gong to go throw myself at my bed for a cat nap before work comes around again, basically. Later, all.
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