It's like super early for going to bed, but I'm so freaking tired that bed is not far away. I'm not sure that I'm going to hit 1000 words today, even with the words I have handwritten, but I guess that might be okay. It's not a hill I want to die on today, if nothing else. So I'm going to type this up, type up what I handwrote at work today, and then go the fuck to bed.
I'm a little frustrated with all the things I'm working on, actually. I have a list of complaints, even. Wicked Ones
was easier to work on before the characters made up and started getting along. Damning the Devil
is at a full stop, to the point it's being plundered for ideas for other stories. Memento Mori
is fighting me hard, but it's not ready for a scene change yet. Lev7
is pretty much at a standstill, because while we might have the entire first job mostly sketched out, it's very rough and I'm not sure how to get from where we are to where we need to be. Monstrous: After Midnight
is fighting me, in part because the bits I'm working on are the final battle, and I blow at fight scenes, I really do. Resurrectionist
is giving me relationship fits, because I actually have developed so much love for the Goody/Faraday pairing at the beginning that I'm sorta "meh" on it ever turning OT4 at the end... though the threesome that will end up ensuing later on still makes my fucking day so much.
And even though I'm the one proposing a "Aces High" challenge -- a writing challenge to come up with Mag7 fanfic where at least one of the characters is asexual -- I have no ideas whatsoever on it. I'm not even working with katsuko
on the one she's writing.
I feel like I'm being left in the dust by everyone. I kinda hate it. At the same time, though, yeah, why not. I'm no good as a Mag7 author without katsuko
. No one reads my YGO stuff. My crossovers are a joke. And my actual novels? Clearly worthless, given the stellar lack of sales. Why am I fucking bothering? Why do I even try, you know?
What gets comments? The stories or sections of stories that katsuko
writes. What gets kudos? The two stories that I just consulted on. What gets the most love? The story that I've barely written on and more or less just maintain the website.
Why do I bother trying to write. Why do I bother, period, full stop.
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