Apollymi

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May 21st, 2018

Never long enough

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I swear, the weekends get shorter and shorter. I mean, that may have something to do with it passing in a haze of dental-related pain and too many painkillers. They're still tender as hell and ridiculously sensitive, but the pain is a lot loess than it was only yesterday, so that's good. I can get by with over the counter painkillers now, instead of the prescription grade stuff... though admittedly, I do need to restock my OTC painkillers in my purse now.

I didn't get a lot of writing done over the weekend, but I did do pretty damn good today, so that's good too. I didn't get anything else transferred over to Zoho, but that's okay too.

And yeah, I got nothing else. I'm gonna feed the girlies and then go to bed, see if I can't get a little rest before it's time to do it all over again. Later, all.

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May 13th, 2018

Buttttttt....

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I don't wanna go back to work tomorrow. I need about eighteen more weekend days between now and when I go back to work. I know I've got a long weekend coming up before too much longer, but I'll be going to Anastasia's place down in College Park that day to feed her kitties, so... eh.

And Mum is coming to visit next weekend, if she's feeling better. (She is a living example of why you should always take all the medicine that's prescribed to you by your doctor. It is indeed true that you could relapse and get the original illness worse than the first time.)

I'm a crampy, grumpy so and so today. I really just kinda wanna curl up and go to sleep for a bit with the heating pad, but I also wanna throw off all my clothes and sleep naked because it's hot as fuck. I think we completely skipped spring and went straight into summer. Except I know summer's going to be even worse than this. It was 91°F/31.8°C today.

Tomorrow, there should be new fanfic online from us, seeing as how it's [personal profile] mistmarauder's birthday.

And that's it for me. I'm gonna try to get to 1000 words, and then I'm going to throw myself at my bed in the hope it still recognizes and accepts me. Yes, I'm weird. I don't rightly care.

So... good night, my freaky darlings.

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May 9th, 2018

Blegh

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And I am still feeling like hell. The headache is still ongoing, as is the fever, topping out at 99.4°F today. (My usual temperature is around 97.7°F, so...)

But I still had to go to work today. Thankfully, there was no more vomiting, but I was tired and creaky and feeling really gross all day. Only two more days to power through this week, then maybe I can rest up and getting to feeling better over the weekend. That's the plan anyway.

And now, I think, bed time. Good night, all.

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May 7th, 2018

Meh

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I've not been enjoying my first day back at work this week. I woke up with a pounding headache. It turned out to be a mild fever: I usually run between 97.9°F and 98.1°F... and it was 99.1°F, so not too bad, but noticeable... at least to me. I was tired and headachy and miserable all day.

And as you can probably guess, that meant that Glynda immediately had to one up me with tales of her miserable birthday weekend with the man she won't divorce. As I have bitten my tongue as so not to say to her many times, "you may not believe in divorce, but clearly, it believes in you." So far I've managed to resist the siren's call of saying it, but who knows for how much longer?

[personal profile] katsuko has achieved deeply unconscious on the other end of the couch. It's almost going to be a shame to wake her up to go to bed.

Because I had a good writing streak today, I've already achieved my word goal, so I can go ahead and hit the sack just as soon as my Fitbit finishes charging, so... yay?

But first more painkillers.

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April 30th, 2018

So... close...

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I am so freaking close to being done with Camp for the month. It seems like this one has been harder on me than previous WriMos... but I think I say that every time. I've had a lot more days where I end up writing nonsense because my words are broken. I think yesterday's journal entry might have fit that bill, and I know I ended up rewriting the same 400 or so words a good three or four times yesterday, because they made progressively less sense the further I went. (In fact, I ended up having to fix a lot of it on the train today, because really, it made no sense at all.)

Another of my teeth broke a bit more. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't one of my front teeth, and now it's embarrassing. But I was playing on the dental insurance website, and even though they cover 80% of the cost, getting dentures would still be a whole lot of money. Not as much as implants, apparently, but still a lot.

I'm just tired of being in pain and looking terrible. That starts with my teeth and goes to my weight and then on to the fibromyalgia and everything else. I'm just tired. I'm just tired of everything.

Anyway, wholly depressing thoughts aside, I'm going to try to get the last few hundred words done, so I can go throw myself at my bed. Good night, all.

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April 28th, 2018

Whoops

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I keep dozing off and forgetting to write this entry. It's especially something I don't need to be doing when I'm close to the end of the month -- and frankly, I'll admit it: I'm using my journal as some of my words for the month. It might be cheating a bit, but I'm not sure I give a shit right now.

I'm not sure what exactly I'm supposed to do as far as my medical coverage right now. My previous doctor is now no longer covered by my insurance. I've been assigned a new doctor, and I'm guessing that I should be on her patient roster before much longer. The thing is, I'm not sure if I should go to my old doctor to get my patient information or if the new doctor will do that. My rheumatologist was discussing trying to change my depression/anxiety medication from Paxil, which isn't working so great for me any longer, to Cymbalta, which apparently has fewer contraindications with other medicines and also can treat nerve damage and joint pain. I guess I'll try calling new doctor during the week next week and see what all she needs to get me started with her.

I seriously cannot get "The Marvel Bunch" out of my head.

I'm still unpacking my thoughts on the Avengers: Infinity War movie. It felt like the Guardians sort of got the shaft as far as characterization and screen time. Well, okay, Star-Lord got the shaft. And yes, I know we got plenty of Gamora, but did we really need to pretty much use the Guardians to keep the movie from being too serious? Yes, those movies are some of the lightest in the MCU, but that's not all they are. Honestly, movie needed to be about an hour longer to round out storylines and characters better; it's too much crammed into too little time. Also, fuck Thanos. Fuck him with a chainsaw.

At some point in the day, Luci decided to bury one of my socks and my ankle brace in Boo's litter box, and I have no idea what to do with any of this. My cat is a brat.

Anyway, back to writing. I just need to reach my minimum for the day and then play hella catchup tomorrow and Monday. Later, all.

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April 26th, 2018

Spoiler-free review of Infinity War

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This is my spoiler-free review for Avengers: Infinity War: Man, fuck Thanos. Also, I don't want to have to wait until next freaking May next year for resolutions for a lot of the storylines in that movie.

At least there's Deadpool 2, Ant-Man and the Wasp, Venom, and Captain Marvel to look forward to between now and then.

In other news, for a day off, I didn't accomplish much in the way of writing. I've been trying, but I'm tired and the words just aren't cooperating. And yeah, a lot of it is the damn teeth hurting again. I need the freaking car thing to settle out, so that I can start working on the freaking teeth thing. There are only so many 800mg ibuprofen that I have left, and when they're the only things that work, well...

Anyway, long day tomorrow. We have TOEFL tests at work in the morning, which always promises to be fun. And [personal profile] katsuko has to be at work at 8:45, a good hour and a half earlier than normal, so that's gonna be interesting. At least I should be able to expect a pick-up when I get to North Springs station in the afternoon.

And that's it: I'm utterly done in. I'm gonna collect [personal profile] katsuko from the other end of the couch and go to bed. Good night, all.

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April 22nd, 2018

Blegh

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Back to my old favorite subject line. Fun times. I feel like my head is going to cave in, it's so uncomfortable. Mum suggested I try some sinus tylenol instead of the ibuprofen, and once there's money again, I may well give that a try. One issue at a time, right?

I'm hoping that I'll be able to go straight the hell to sleep tonight, none of this futzing about until five or six in the morning. That's been my nights/days for the last few days. It's not optimal, but it's something. I can hope for something, right?

I got a decent amount of writing done today, but it wasn't enough to get caught back up to where I need to be. But it was still a goodly amount, and I'll accept that as a small win. I'll working on getting caught up over the week. Maybe I'll even amange it on Thursday, when I'm off work.

Either way, I think I'm going to take my evening medication and try to get some rest in a bed. Wish me luck? Later, all.

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April 19th, 2018

Thursday

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I'm so damn glad it's Thursday. I'm so sick and tired of this week already, and I'm so damn ready for it to be over with. I've spent a lot of the week thinking that tomorrow wasn't ever going to get here. It's so close now, so close I can taste it.

And that's a bad pun, given the fact I'm writing smut in the other window. This particular bit of writing is getting particularly raunchy, hence the amusement.

The headache refuses to abate. That might have something to do with the continuous sore teeth, but even when I get the teeth down to no pain, the headache continues, so I don't know. I just don't know.

And yeah, I've got fucking nothing for today. I'm going to be glad for tomorrow to be over at work, so that I can just collapse and do nothing for a while. Later, all.

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April 18th, 2018

Ugh

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I think that might be one of my most commonly used subject lines, but it's apt today. I was absolutely right about pushing my leg too far yesterday, and it's spent the day letting me know about it. That ankle, in particular, has been throwing some pretty epic fits at me too. It hasn't like me walking on it or turning corners on it... or well, obviously, doing much of anything.

But I think the headache is the worst part here. It started somewhere before lunch time, and it has barely eased up in the least since then.It's just been a sharp, constant pain that I can't seem to get rid of. It's not quite unbearable, but it's definitely not letting me forget that it's there. It's also not responding to anything I take for it, and I'm a little leery to try taking too much else. I've had four Excedrin migraine and a 800mg ibuprofen since I left work, and I still have to take my regular nighttime pills: the Paxil and my Plaquenil.

Friday afternoon can't get here soon enough, so that I can take my contacts out, put on my comfy clothes, and not have to do anything until whenever. At least until my headache eases up. But at the same time, I know myself better than that. I still need to go pick up a new pair of jeans, because money ran out before I could on the last check.

And yeah, once I get my word count for the day, I'm going to go collapse in my bed and not move until it's time for me to get back up and go to work.

And that's it for me for now. Later, all.

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April 17th, 2018

Yet another day

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For the record, my right shin is fucking throbbing. For that matter, so is my right knee (and all its accompanying bruising) and a few other places. It seems like about half my body is always fucking throbbing lately, and if it were possible to trade it in for a better model, I can't say that I wouldn't strongly consider the offer. I guess I pushed myself a little too hard a little too fast today, and I'm paying for it now. It might be back in the brace again tomorrow.

I'm so freaking tired, but I've got a bit of a writing streak going. I really don't want to break it if I can help it. What I'm debating on is leaving my laptop here in my lap, but taking off my glasses and seeing what happens. Both of the girls are back the hall and have no interest in what I'm doing anyway. We'll see, I guess.

I'm not even sure I can put into words how much my teeth freaking hurt right now. I remain hopeful that the nerve will finally wear down some time soon and let me have some breathing room, pun most assuredly intended.

Otherwise, yeah, it's been a pretty quiet day. We had some doozies of testers today, but that seems to be every Tuesday as of late.

I'm tired as hell, but it's the drifty, not entirely sleepy kind of tired, which is not the most helpful. Not particularly happy either. I will, however, continue to deal with it. What else is there to do, after all?

I'm gonna try to get these last few words pounded out (that pun is also intended too) and try to make myself get some sleep. Later, all.

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April 16th, 2018

Something

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I feel like I'm starting to fall right back into the "drift a bit but don't really sleep" pattern again already. I know that part of the not sleeping well thing is that my teeth constantly hurt, but I don't want to keep taking the only thing that works on it -- the 800 mg ibuprofen -- because I only have a few left. Getting the car has to be my first priority, then I can move on to everything else.

That said, I did give up and taken an ibuprofen, because I really want some sleep tonight before I have to go into work tomorrow and deal with Glynda. It's a huge pain in the ass, honestly.

I will admit that I gave some honest thought to shaving my pale ass legs and wearing a skirt tomorrow to show off my bruises. I think the main reason I probably won't is because I forgot to shave my legs and it's late now.

Other than that, I did manage to get a little closer to caught up on my writing. I'm still running a bit behind, maybe a thousand to 1200 words or so, but it's not as bad as it was previously.

All that said, though, I think I'm going to have to go wake [personal profile] katsuko up so we can go to bed, so that I can do all this all over again tomorrow. Ugh. Good night, my freaky darlings.

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April 14th, 2018

I don't even know

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I managed about an hour and a half's worth of sleep today, which is an improvement, I suppose. I feel vaguely less "drifty", but I'm still finding holding a thought in my head for any real length of time to be a huge difficulty. I'm not enjoying it in the least. Granted, the hour and half nap was cut off because Boo decided it was time for her to be petted right then and there. And that's a Boo-berry's prerogative, but it certainly put a damper on the nap front. Maybe I should give up for the night and take a Flexeril, since that usually does knock me out for the night.

Once again, I have had to hit the research binge. At least this is somewhat more normal stuff than the things I usually end up having to research. Since I'm having some difficulties currently in adding links to my Scrivener, I'm gonna put them here until I can come back to them:
Medical Treatments in the Late 19th Century
Medicinal Uses of Camphor

Right now, I'll just be frightfully glad when the neighbors all settle down and quit making so much noise. Then I can maybe concentrate a little better and get some writing done. I mean, I don't like my odds there, but it's worth a shot.

Anyway, I'm going to try to finish getting these last few hundred words so that I won't feel like I wasted my day when I go try to lay down. Wish me luck! Later, all.

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April 11th, 2018

Day Six

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So apparently, my count was a little bit off for how long it's been since I managed to hurt myself. It's been six days today, not five. Not the worst I've ever been off, so... eh.

I seem to have lost all the podfics I had on my phone during some update or another. Thankfully, I do still seem to have most of them on my computer, so that's one small worry less to deal with. I probably won't reload all of them. The Losers one I have, I'll definitely reload that one, but probably not all The Magnificent Seven ones. I don't know: now that there's more options, there's no need to seek out ThrillingDetectiveTales's stories.

And apparently, I'm going to have to work on my sites again. Apparently the mySQL servers have lost some information, maybe the user, and that's a bit beyond what I know how to fix.

Oh gods, that project I should never have started now has a title: Ain't Our Time... because all my Mag7 stories apparently have to have Dorothy songs for titles. And it's already have ten thousand words. Help me. Stop me. I need to quit writing dark shit.

Also, someone needs to stop me from loading more and more fanfics onto my phone. Someone make me go to bed. I'm not tired, but make me go to bed.

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April 10th, 2018

Day 4 (?)

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I think it's been four days now since I managed to hurt myself. The road rash and open scrape on my face are scabbing over nicely. They feel funky and apparently look really painful, but mostly they're just itchy and... tight? I guess that's a good word for it. It feels like, if I blink too hard, I'll pull the scab loose on the one between my eyes. My right knee is all kinds of fun colors and still sore. My right ankle is likewise still (more) sore (than normal), and the left ankle is still a bit weaker than normal.

Taking today off work did seem to help a bit. I got to stay off of the leg for the most part and rest it up some. With that, I think I might be able to get through work again tomorrow. I can't say I'm looking forward to it, because I'm not, but I might be able to get through it. To avoid the teasing I got on Monday, though, I won't take my cane in with me. That was just too much on top of everything else, and I have no wish to repeat it again tomorrow.

That said, I am going to try to go back to work tomorrow... if they will take it easier on me than they did on Monday. Meaning if Glynda will pull her fair share of the walking so that my knee doesn't end up the size of a softball again... and if LaTrease doesn't vanish with the door shut again. And so forth.

Despite having absolutely no need to be working on a new story... I have been most of Camp this year. Unsurprisingly, perhaps. And it's dark. Also, unsurprisingly. Because so many of my Camp stories tend to end up being on the dark side. Sometimes the regular NaNo ones as well, but mostly the Camp ones.

And it's time to try to get those last few hundred words so that I can go to bed. Good night, all.

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April 8th, 2018

Blegh

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Today I feel like I need that particular subject line more than ever. I always hear that the longer after a fall, the more you may start hurting. It's been two days since I fell, and I think I hurt worse now than I did on the day it happened or yesterday. The bonus is that I finally found my knee brace, so between it and the ankle braces, I'm almost steady on my feet... barring having to take the stairs.

I hate doing it, but I might have to dig my cane out of the trunk of Shinigami so that I can use it tomorrow for extra balance. The last few times I used it, Mirko coworkers made fun of me for using it, and on top of everything else, that's the last thing I need. And I wouldn't put it past Glynda. I don't put anything past Glynda.

Good gods, my knee is just a mess. It's scraped on one side and bruised up on the other, and I'm never quite sure which side to baby. So I'm trying to put weight on it at all, which means the weight is going on the other leg, which is now starting to hurt. All this from hitting concrete.

I'm more than half-tempted to wear my corset that doubles as a back brace tomorrow too. Given how much the rest of me hurts, after all, it might not be a bad idea to force myself into some good posture. Or it might, seeing as how sometimes I'm having to slump down into a nothingness position to successfully find a place and position that doesn't cause active pain.

I texted Mum to be talked out of going and getting a bean burrito and a cheese enchilada. Instead, though, she talked me into it. She said that sometimes we need treats after it's been a long, hard couple of days. She also mentioned how she has to treat herself to a Coke after dealing with Betsy for more than five minutes. Ouch. But I had my enchilada and burrito. The service sucked, but the food was good. I guess that's good enough for tonight, but it was also worth a mediocre review on Yelp.

I also texted LaTrease to see if she would prefer I take the day off or come in and possibly have to leave early, since I'm not sure how long I'll be able to work. Of course, I got no answer. I never get any answer on those questions. Oh, I'll go in tomorrow, and I'll get an apology on missing my text, but that'll be it. It's damn hard to call out of work, when I'm given one way to do it, and it's not answered. Or I should say it's damn hard to call out if you're not Glynda. But then there's me being all salty again.

Anyway, I think I'm gonna take a couple more ibuprofen and go the fuck to bed. [personal profile] katsuko is sleeping soundly on the other end of the couch, and frankly, it looks nice. I think I would like to give it a try as well.

So... good night, my freaky darlings.

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April 7th, 2018

Day 2

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Oh my gods. I hurt. I hurt so much. I know people always say that the day after an injury is worse than when it initially happens... and it's true. It's so true. I feel like I've been beaten with a stick... and then someone came back with a car for round two.

Let's top that off with the fact that I'm so sore right now that I'm barely able to feel any kind of ability to walk at more than a snail's pace. And since I did leave the house and struggle enough to go get our few groceries for the week... as well as some snacks. Granted, I do seem to end up regretting every motion so very, very much.

My right leg is just solid pain on a nearly permanent basis, instead of just the knee, heel, and ankle that usually make up the daily pain there. Not to say that those don't hurt, because that would be a damn lie. Those all hurt -- and worse than ever -- but they also hurt worse than they have in days, maybe even longer. They're just joined with a small host of other aches and pains: the entirety of that leg, my back and shoulders, and then a lot of various other places that come and go, like my right arm and left shoulder.

I'm running a constant headache that seems to alternate where it's located just slightly, depending on the day. Sometimes it's right between my eyebrows, sometimes it's directly behind my eyeball, and sometimes it's just the whole head. I think I dislike the one between the eyebrows most, because it's a sign that I've been holding myself too tightly and I'm about to collapse again and, if I want to have a bed beneath me, I need to move as quickly as I'm able.

I'm moving about as quickly as someone twice my age, though, which is even more spectacular. Stairs are a fucking nightmare. I found that one out today, because there are two sets of stairs leaving the apartment. Let's just add in the fact that I can barely bend my right knee and putting too much weight on that ankle is even worse, and suffice it to say that I'm going to be losing speed races at the nursing home, as well as anywhere else.

So, yeah, that's where I'm at right now. Tomorrow, I'm going to have to face those steps again to go with [personal profile] katsuko to pick up a shirt at Goodwill for her work. Apparently, she needs a polo shirt -- no preference on color or anything, so long as it's free of designs -- to wear on new/old job. She has no money, so I'm gonna use some of what I have left towards that. I might splurge and buy myself a pretty shirt if I find one too. We'll have to see on that front.

Anyway, later, all.

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March 18th, 2018

So yeah

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I think I was even lazier today than I was yesterday. At least yesterday I did the little bit of grocery shopping I could afford to do. Today, I didn't even leave the house, even to hit a PokeStop. Whoops. And it was a day 7 for me too. Oh well. I'm not sure I have a damn to give left in me.

The food we ate today was pretty much all the things I don't need to eating: pancakes and locally produced cane syrup for brunch, and loaded mashed potatoes for dinner. Even if it was all food I'm not meant to eat, it was so damn good. I'm not feeling much in the way of shame for it. Like I said, it was good. [personal profile] katsuko is good to me, making tasty foods.

Teeth are still seriously hurting. I would say that I'm going to OD on Orajel treating them, but I've used much, much more of it in a much shorter time frame than I am right now at various other points since this whole saga started. Honestly, I ought to buy stock in Orajel, so I can support myself.

Things to remember to pay on Friday: Progressive, Charter Spectrum, Georgia Power, Verizon, doctor's office, an oil change in the Malibu, and probably something else I'm forgetting about. At least I don't have to worry about paying for the storage facility anymore.

Man, filling the petrol tank in the Malibu is going to be even more of a pain than it was in Shinigami. In Shinigami, I could make $15 get me over half a tank from empty. In the Malibu, $15 doesn't even get to the halfway point. (Same gas station, roughly the same price per gallon, at that, too.)

I don't know what I need to do as far as getting a new car. I mean, I've had $50 come in on the fundraiser. It's helpful, yes, but it gets me nowhere near what I need for a down payment, which is at least $1500. I don't want to sell Shinigami until I'm closer to what I need, because I don't want to lose my long-term insurance membership that keeps me with a good discount... if I can even sell him quickly. I still need to clean him out, though I think I might need a cordless hand vacuum for that, really.

Honestly, so much is predicated on me having the energy to do stuff at a time when the weather will cooperate with the doing of stuff.

But alas, it's now time to stop my whinging and throw myself at my bed. Good night, all.

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March 16th, 2018

A few things to say

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I guess I can provide a little chit-chat about things that went on yesterday and today. It's certainly not going to be much, because I think I drifted through most of this week.

I did have my rheumatologist appointment yesterday. Of all the doctors I actually have to see, I like Dr. Singh and his PA Magdelena best, simply because they actually seem to give a damn about finding out what my problems are and how best to handle (and maybe fix) them.

Cut for health blathering )

I'm just about to give up on the fundraiser. I've only gotten the two donations, and while $50 is generous, it's not enough to do anything car-wise. It might not even be enough to put gas in the Malibu. It's pretty obvious that this is really low down on the priority list, with all the other fundraisers going around, especially on Tumblr, recently.

I don't have a good enough sob story, I guess. I just have a dead car, a loaner that I won't have for long, massive debt, bad credit, and an overwhelming urge to check my life insurance policy to see if it would help [personal profile] katsuko out if I could make it look like an accident, since there is a rider in my life insurance plan for that, since it's within two years of the start of my policy.

And yes, the depression is back in full swing. And I don't even care.

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March 13th, 2018

Headache and updates

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Well, the headache continues to ease, but it's still not completely gone. It's mostly been helped pretty well with over the counter stuff, so I haven't had to break out the prescription grade stuff. Now if everything else would just cooperate.

Of course, I think part of the reason why I haven't been as concerned about the headache to notice how bad it was or wasn't is because I burned my hand a bit. The one time I decide I wanna get some coffee at work... and I spill it all over my left hand. I managed to get my thumb (the same one I cut open this time last year) and middle finger pretty good. The redness has finally gone down. It's still a little tender, but it's not too bad, overall, I guess. Not as bad as it could it have been, at the very least.

And I can feet my evening pills starting to kick in, so I think it might we ll be time to go throw myself at my bed.

Good night, all.

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