Apollymi

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August 6th, 2018

Monday

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Yeah, it was a Monday. It was one hell of a Monday, because Glynda was in a right damn mood... and Richard was in a right damn mood... and it ended up being right at 5:15 when LaTrease told Anastasia and me to pack up and leave (before we get even more overtime built up)... and I didn't make it to the gym again today... and just everything else.

I did, however, manage to get my first actual appointment with my new dentist, even if it's not until September. I can deal with that. I think it's just going to be a cleaning and fitting me for my temporary dentures. That way, when I go back for my big oral surgery (12 damn extractions!), I'll have teeth to chew with immediately afterwards. That will be a good thing. I'm hoping we can spread some of this out over a few months, so that I have time to reacquire money in between, but we'll take it one day at a time.

Anyway, it's past time for me to go to bed. I'm going to give that a try, see if I can't make myself sleep, no matter that I'm still not particularly feeling tired.

So long, my freaky darlings!

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July 28th, 2018

Camp NaNoWriMo July 2018 Edition - Day 28

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Well, I did the dentist thing this morning. I do have to say that it was most a consultation… one that involved a lot of X-Rays and such being taken, including one of my whole damn head. Apparently, this is going to involve less work than Mum feared but a whole lot more than I was anticipating. I will need to have oral surgery to remove 12 impacted or broken teeth, several of which have some level of infection around them. After that, I’ll need to get a temporary partial denture. Once my mouth has healed some from that, I’ll get a permanent partial denture. After my mouth has healed some from that, I’ll have to get at least four cavities filled and one root canal with a crown.

Now supposedly, my insurance will cover a large portion of this. The out of pocket expense for me, though, is going to be $2700 up to the partial denture part of that. I might have to wait until the next insurance year starts to get the rest of this done, because otherwise, it’s going to be all out of pocket. A good half of the ones I’m looking at now will be out of pocket, because my annual maximum is $1500. (Yes, my dental insurance literally has a maximum I can spend. WTF?)

Other than that, it’s been a relatively quiet day. I’m not sure what else to say. That’s been my sticker shock going on all day.

Anyway, I’m going to go throw myself at my bed and hope for sleep. If not sleep, then at least do some more writing. I’m not going to hit my goal of 2,000 words tonight, but maybe I can get a bit closer to being caught up. Either way, good night, all.

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July 27th, 2018

Camp NaNoWriMo July 2018 Edition - Day 27

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Oh thank fuck, it’s finally Friday. I was seriously starting to think (yet again) that it wasn’t going to arrive. And then I thought I was going to be at work for all of it. I feel like I live there most of the time anyway.

Tomorrow is my first dentist appointment in years. I’m both looking forward to it and not. I doubt anything much is going to be accomplished tomorrow. We just have to do a consultation and get an idea of what needs to be done and when and how much it will cost, with my crappy insurance.

And now, even though it’s relatively early for me, I’m going on to bed. Good night, all.

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July 26th, 2018

Camp NaNoWriMo July 2018 Edition - Day 26

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Is it Friday yet? I’m ready, really damn ready for this week to be over. It’s been long and it’s been tired an it be , and I’m all fed up with that. I’m tired of having to walk and do stuff when I hurt the way I’m hurting right now.. Every time I put the slightest bit of weight on my right ankle, it starts screaming in pain. Sounds like some, but I would prefer not to ever think about the stuff otherwise.

All that going on, I obviously don’t have a lot of writing done. I certainly haven’t done as much as I need to, do. Given that there are moments where I want to throw up if I step too wrong. I haven’t fallen lately. I haven’t done anything really that that would warrant . I haven’t fallen in nearly a month or so now. , And given that sometimes, just sometimes, that pain is what defines everything I do, I think it’s fairly all right for me to describe it as unbearable.

All that adds up to a pretty poor and miserable me. I haven’t felt like anything in a while, but getting from work to the train station nearly did me today, and that’s not awesome. After tomorrow, though, I can put it up for a bit and rest it ahead of Monday and going back to work. Except for my dentist appointment on Saturday morning, I have no plans whatsoever this weekend, except resting.

And now, I’m going to go throw myself at my bed and try to get a few hours sleep before I do everything all over again. (Really, it’s the thought that it’s Friday that’s sustaining me right now.) I’m tired as fuck, but I’m just hurting too much right now to actually really sleep. So right now, the whole sleep thing is just a hope, not a guarantee. But oh, I’m gonna try. And I’m off to go try that now.

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July 14th, 2018

Camp NaNoWriMo July 2018 Edition - Day 14

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All I can really say for today is that I guess it happened. I accidentally took my Tramadol later in the evening last night, and apparently that translated to me being so far out of it for the day that I think I might have slept from nearly ten in the morning until nearly six in the afternoon. I have a vague recollection of texting back and forth some with [personal profile] katsuko and I think I remember eating a couple of bites of peanut butter, but that’s all I’ve got accounted for for the entire day.

I know Saturdays are usually my lazy days, but damn, this was bad, even for me. Still is really: I keep coming closer and closer to drifting off as the day goes by. I did have to take another Tramadol, so I’m far from at my best. And on Monday, I have an open to close shift again, so that’s going to be fun. I have a feeling that I’ll be even more of a zombie that day than I am right now.

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July 13th, 2018

Camp NaNoWriMo July 2018 Edition - Day 13

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Friday at freaking last. I was seriously starting to think that it was never going to come. It’s been a long, long week at work, and I’m so damn happy that it’s over. I don’t even care that I’m finishing out the work week essentially broke, because I’m just that glad it’s over. Granted, I didn’t get as much accomplished as I wanted to, especially on the writing front, but when I’m drugged up well enough to essentially be a bit stoned, it’s sort of a cost-benefit thing: I’m not in pain but no writing has happened, and it feels like the scales are sitting about evenly for that.

I did manage some handwriting earlier in the day, trying to deal with my seven characters in search of a story arc. I’ve got two of my seven major characters onto fic, with a third just off scene, and I’m trying not to be too hopeful. In media res is a valid here, yes?

I have a very beautiful Boo sitting in my lap, and it’s so lovely. She’s slowly starting to venture out into the living room and the rest of the house again, though she does remain leery of Luci, which is valid enough, I believe. [personal profile] katsuko is on the other end of the couch, stretched out under a thick blanket, despite it being 76°F/24.4°C in the house. Apparently, she’s not digging the fans blowing on her, which is fair, I suppose.

And I’m flagging here, barely able to keep my eyes open for more than a few seconds at the time. It’s taken me a few forevers to get even this much typed up, when I keep drifting off. So good night, all.

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July 12th, 2018

Camp NaNoWriMo July 2018 Edition - Day 12

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Work today was a little closer to “same old, same old”. I’m not sure how I’m feeling on that: if I’m happy that things are getting back to normal, or if I’m miffed because that means I’m having to put up with the Queen of Mood Swings herself. Like I said, it could go either way.

I wanted to make words happen today, but that didn’t go so well. I just can’t keep my brain in gear for longer than a couple of minutes at the time, probably thanks to the Tramadol. Right now, I’m not too terribly upset, because I’m really enjoying being 99% pain-free for the first time in years. I wish it didn’t make me so tired at night and then hungover in the morning because the whole pain-free thing is damn nice.

I just also would like to be pain-free, not hungover, and able to write. Said like that, it seems a little selfish, huh? I want to not hurt, not feel like I’m in a daze and might fall asleep standing up, and be able to write, all at once.

I have seven characters in search of a book arc, and it’s making me a little nuts. I know the genre, I know most of the characters, but I have no idea on what kind of stories to give them. Because right now, I’m leaning towards wanting to make a trilogy of sorts out of the three sibling characters. But I need a starting place. I need a plot. I know one will eventually come to me, but it can’t happen soon enough.

Finally... I’m ending the night with 617 words for the day and 11,940 out of 30,000 for the month. I am (roughly) on schedule to complete on time.

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July 11th, 2018

Camp NaNoWriMo July 2018 Edition - Day 11

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This one is going to be very short by necessity. I’ve already taken my Tramadol for the night, and I’m feeling the sleepy creeping up on me. It’s not heavy or overwhelming like some other medications I’ve had to take, but it’s definitely dragging me under just as surely.

Today at work was... vaguely better. LaTrease coached me a bit on the things that were objectionable from Thursday, but she was definitely very chill about it, which I appreciated. Glenda remained in a bit of a mood, but not as bad. I did come in to find that Robert (the part-timer I worked with on Thursday), Chris (LaTrease’s boss, who was also trying to help with damage control on Thursday), and Anastasia went to bat for me, so that was a damn nice feeling. It’s my understanding, in fact, that Robert and Anastasia got flat-out nasty on my behalf because they thought the whole thing was some bullshit. Which was nice.

And because the medicine is really starting to kick in, I’m gonna go throw myself at my bed. Later, all.

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July 10th, 2018

Camp NaNoWriMo July 2018 Edition - Day 10

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Well, I did it. I made it through to my doctor’s appointment. Several updates along the way with that, mostly as far as medication goes. She thinks the problem with my hands is a bad case of contact dermatitis, and she prescribed a strong cortisone cream to try to take care of the problem, and she thinks the rash on my side is likely the same problem. She renewed my script for the 800mg ibuprofen for pain management. She also gave me Tramadol and Amoxicilin for the teeth issue and asked me to please try to get to the dentist within a week. Finally, we’re going to start me being transitioned from Paxil to Cymbalta, which is likely going to be an ongoing process with will take some time.

Medication-wise, at least, things are trying to come together and work out at least. Which is good, because work sucks out loud. I’m not even sure how I want to go about unpacking it. Just… it sucks.

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July 9th, 2018

Camp NaNoWriMo July 2018 Edition - Day 09

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Jesus fuck. I can’t decide if the ibuprofen just isn’t working as well in small doses anymore or if I’m actually hurting more and worse the longer this goes on with my teeth. I seriously cannot wait for my doctor’s appointment tomorrow. I have a freaking list of things I want to talk to Dr. Randall about, and that’s pretty high up on that list. (It also includes possibly changing my antidepressant, how bad my hands are, and that damned rash. I’ve also got a lump on my leg that I want her to look at.)

Glynda was back today... and she was in a right mood for it. Between that and the teeth and my hands, it has been a pretty damn miserable day. I think I’m ready for it to be over now.

Finally… I’m ending the night with 758 words for the day and 9,636 out of 30,000 for the month. I am (roughly) on schedule to complete on time.

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July 8th, 2018

Camp NaNoWriMo July 2018 Edition - Day 08

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What a miserable day it has been. Not bad. Not really. But it’s been miserable simply because of how much I’ve been hurting. There has been a throbbing pain in my jaw that goes all the way up to my temple and into my ear, and I’ll be damned if it’s possible to concentrate on anything with that going on. I spent part of Thursday and Friday trying to get in touch with a dentist, and I guess I’m going to have to keep trying on Monday.

But at least I have an appointment with my regular doctor on Tuesday, so maybe I can see about picking up some antibiotics ahead of a dentist appointment, so we can get straight to the nitty gritty of what needs to be done: extractions, I’m sure, but I’m not certain if it will be followed by implants or dentures. I’m almost hoping for the latter.

Mostly I’m just hoping not to be in pain anymore.

Finally… I’m ending the night with 784 words for the day and 8,878 out of 30,000 for the month. I am (roughly) on schedule to complete on time.

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July 7th, 2018

Camp NaNoWriMo July 2018 Edition - Day 07

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What a lazy ass Saturday. I ended up having just enough pain in my teeth that I didn’t do a whole lot of anything, mostly just playing Merge Dragons and Yahtzee with Buddies. Mostly Merge Dragons, because that game is stupidly addictive.

Sadly, I don’t think I have anything else to say for myself for today. I feel like I could eat a horse... so long as said horse was soft and didn’t require a lot of chewing because my teeth. And that’s actually it. But a small update first.

I’m ending the night with 1,400 words for the day and 8,094 out of 30,000 for the month. I am (roughly) on schedule to complete on time.

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July 6th, 2018

Camp NaNoWriMo July 2018 Edition - Day 06

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Well, I made it through another day. I guess I can celebrate that. [personal profile] katsuko did talk me into going to see Ant-Man and the Wasp, which was good, a fun little popcorn flick. Everything at work worked so much better than yesterday, which I’m taking a tentative victory lap there.

Other than all that, I’ve really got nothing to complain or brag on. The teeth are still a throbbing pain. The laptop is still slowly failing. At least I have a ticket for a free oil change in Emma. That’s one small good thing out of this.

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July 5th, 2018

Camp NaNoWriMo July 2018 Edition - Day 05

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Ugh, more fireworks, still ongoing. I do not like. I’m really very, very ready for them to be over and done with, and yet they keep on going. It’s like some demented, evil Energizer bunny or something.

I seriously think Anastasia’s going to end up calling the dentist for me at this rate. I’ve been putting in messages to various dentists with Saturday hours, trying to find one that can see me as soon as possible. But so far, no joy yet. I’m not giving up yet, though.

I’m so tired and I hurt so much and sleeping is so hard when I hurt so much. I’m going to be glad for the weekend. I just hope tomorrow goes better at work than today did. Everything updated, with new logins and passwords… and no one saw fit to let us know ahead of time. Then five computers had to be reimaged and pretty much virtually rebuilt from scratch. It ended up taking the better part of a day.

So I guess I had best admit to defeat on writing tonight and try to get some sleep. Good night, all.

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July 4th, 2018

Camp NaNoWriMo July 2018 Edition - Day 04

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Ugh, I hate Fourth of July. The kitties hate Fourth of July. All the puppies hate Fourth of July. It is just all around suck, if you’re not into shooting off fireworks and the like. Given the headache I’ve been rocking (thanks to the toothache), I am not into the shooting off of fireworks right now. I am into the peace and quiet right now, and that’s not happening. Not until at least around 1:00 or 2:00 this morning.

Tomorrow and Friday I have to open the office, so I have to be there at 7:15. That means I need to leave the house by 6:30, I think. Certainly not much later than that. Earlier might even be better, but ugh, early. I am not a fan of early, either. I much prefer my sleep, when I can get it. Which hasn’t been all that much lately, given the toothache from hell.

Let’s make matters even more fun. Not only I have the whole extra money coming out now with the car and car insurance, but my laptop is going downhill fast, and I can’t guarantee how much longer she’s going to last. Half the screen is faded to about half brightness, and the liquid crystals in the top right corner of the screen have faded to black. The dimness just started last night when I brought it up out of sleep mode, so I’m still trying to see if I can figure out a way to fix this latest issue or if it’s going to be an ongoing problem.

So not only is Ripley going downhill fast, but I also have to figure out how to swing the dentist visit, because dear gods, how that needs to happen. (I feel like this might be a good time to mention that my Dreamwidth has a link to donate on Paypal. Because right now? Right now I feel like I’m drowning, and there’s no way up to the surface.

So with all of this in mind, I’m going to try to make words happen, so that I can get up and go to work in the morning. Later, all.

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July 3rd, 2018

Camp NaNoWriMo July 2018 Edition - Day 03

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It has not been a good writing day today. It’s been a fantastic day for pain, but apparently, pain and creativity are not happy bedfellows. I might even go so far as to say they hate one another. I have it to a semi-controlled state right now, but I think that it’s going to be just enough for going to bed, not for staying up and writing. Which is a huge pain, because I wanna stay on top of my word count and not let it get away from me this year. But on that same note, I’ve lowered my word count goal to 30,000.

I’m ending the night with 879 words for the day and 4,290 out of 30,000 for the month. I am (roughly) on schedule to complete on time.

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July 2nd, 2018

Camp NaNoWriMo July 2018 Edition - Day 02

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Blegh. I feel rough. The same couple of teeth are still throbbing like hell. I tried to make an appointment with the dentist Anastasia recommended, but they don't have any afternoon appointments and I have no idea when I'll be able to get in for a morning appointment. It's going to be interesting, that's for certain. It's amazing how difficult work makes life sometimes.

Writing has gone pretty all right today. Not as great as I was hoping, but right now, being in near constant pain does make concentrating a little difficult. In fact, truth be told, it makes writing difficult as hell. But I have banged these characters' heads together until they cooperated, and thus words have happened. Not as many as I want, but again, beggars can’t be choosers.

At least I have Wednesday off work. I think I’m going to spend the day on the couch, sans pants, and possibly not even move at all if I can help it. Yeah, that sounds damn good.

I’m ending the night with 1,728 words for the day and 3,411 out of 50,000. I am on schedule to complete on time.

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July 1st, 2018

Camp NaNoWriMo July 2018 Edition - Day 01

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Wow, that's a mouthful of a subject line.

It's been a hell of a lazy day. I managed to reach an equilibrium of pain versus life for parts of the day, but not enough to actually get some napping in. Mostly I just sort of drifted, hurting too much to sleep but not so much as to want to bang my head on something until I passed out. I called it a fragile balance. I might as well call it 'my papier mâché head' because that's about what it's felt like.

Writing-wise, I feel like I'm off to an all right start. Nothing too fancy, but given what I'm working up against, I think it's respectable. That said, I wouldn't be upset if I managed a higher number for my tomorrow.

For now, though, I feel tired enough and sore enough and possibly cranky enough to go throw myself at my bed. It has been calling my name for hours now, and I think I might be at a point where I can get some kind of sleep.

I'm ending the night with 1,683 words out of 50,000. I am on schedule to complete on time.

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June 30th, 2018

Saturday

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I took a Benedryl last night, trying to get the itching to die down even a little. I can't say for sure if it did or if it didn't, but I certainly slept through the entire night, only waking up around five or so to go to the toilet. The itching on my face has died down a bit, though the skin is still really kind of scaly and uncomfortable. Along my neck is better, but it's certainly not gone yet there. The hands are still pretty damn bad, and I'm not sure if that's thanks to the various cleaning chemicals I have to use at work or not.

The teeth, on the other hand, are a completely different story. There is constant, deep, throbbing pain there until I just want to scream and scream and scream... except the air hurts my teeth, so I can't do that. I've used enough Orajel on them that I think that's why I'm so dizzy, even if it's barely making a dent in the whole thing. The 800mg ibuprofen isn't doing a lot either, and that's a crying damn shame.

All in all, I'm going to have to gather my limited resources and try to get in to see a dentist sooner rather than later. Fun times.

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June 29th, 2018

So tired

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It was Friday today, but I can't say I really got to enjoy it, thanks to my teeth hurting like mad pretty much all day. And oh gods, how the itching has come back. I'm about ready to take another Benedryl and go throw myself at my bed, since words aren't really exactly coming. I always have a hard time writing on pain days.

I did manage a rather piss poor showing of words, but since it'll be July in a couple of days and therefore JulNoWriMo/Camp NaNoWriMo, I'm not too concerned right now.

And that's it. I'm done for.

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